Properly, I used to be seduced once more. I went on the Sézane web site, noticed that completely all the pieces on there would virtually positively make me appear like a twenty year-old Parisian sex-kitten from the seventies after which ordered a load of stuff.
It arrived (after un petit delay), I unwrapped my haul from its très fairly paper and tried all the pieces on. Did I instantly appear like a twenty year-old Parisian sex-kitten from the seventies?
Mais non.
In all probability one thing to do with the truth that I’m not twenty and so my boobs, completely wonderful although they’re, wouldn’t have the form of lush, rounded fulsomeness that may make a bog-standard cotton henley t-shirt look probably the most alluring garment ever created.
And likewise to do with the truth that Sézane are merely masters of styling and French-cool clothes presentation to the purpose of near-deception. They may make a binbag look come-hither. How they’ve managed to make their “Brut Attractive” denims look good within the photographs is past me – in actual life they’ve the weirdest form that appears utterly at odds with each single a part of the human anatomy.
(You want house to your hips? No can do. However hear: we’ve taken the house that you just wanted in that département and allotted it to the thigh space. And sure, we all know they’re a bit brief within the leg however don’t fear – we’ve added that cloth proper to the highest to be able to really feel much more uncomfortably encased in stiff, unyielding denim.)
I jest. Sézane make some really very lovely things. It’s simply that – for me at the very least – the fact of making an attempt them on is so, so removed from the fantasy I purchase into once I browse the location. As a result of sure, the outsized shirt is attractive however am I actually going to put on it unbuttoned to the navel (from each high and backside) with no bra beneath? Je thinks not. Sure the cardigans are in some way probably the most seductive-looking cardigans on earth however am I going to pop to Sainsbury’s with my cardi hanging fully off one shoulder? Or worn again to entrance? Will I have the ability to weigh my bananas on the unfastened gadgets scales with out shedding my knitwear fully?
It’s like this ongoing shoulder robing pattern. (Stick with me.) Trend individuals on-line usually put on their coats thrown over their shoulders, like cloaks, fairly than placing their arms by way of the sleeves like customary difficulty coat-wearers. This makes almost each single coat they put on look each wonderful and extremely dramatic because of the additional quantity created and the truth that they now have this spectacular square-shouldered silhouette, like a quarterback. You’ll be able to see why medieval lords flung a cloak on: instantaneous gravitas and don’t fuck with me, Badulf vibes.
However there’s an issue with shoulder-robing your coat and it’s this: you can’t probably carry out any form of activity, even probably the most menial, with out having your arms correctly poked by way of your sleeves. If you happen to shoulder gown then your arms successfully change into pinioned to your sides – if you happen to transfer them an excessive amount of, or if you happen to resolve in a sudden, irrational second that you just’d prefer to stoop down to choose up the cellphone you’ve simply dropped or to tie a shoelace with the intention to forestall your self from tripping and breaking your individual neck, the coat will slide off.
What a time to be alive.
Anyway, hats off to Sézane as a result of they’ve completely acquired me. I’m by no means not going to be lured in by photographs of fashions with completely undone Sam McKnight hair wanting effortlessly cool and youthful and un petit peu kittenish. Whilst I kind this submit I’ve one other tab open: for his or her new season assortment that has simply dropped in the present day. (Discover it here*.) And there are at the very least 5 gadgets in my basket already that I do know will immediately rework me into the form of lady who by no means wears thermal leggings, has an inherited condo within the seventh arrondissement and doesn’t need to unzip her denims after lunch.
Right here’s a little video of what I attempted on on this explicit Sézane order – keep tuned for the inevitable subsequent instalment as I’m nothing if not a glutton for punishment… If you happen to’re studying this by way of electronic mail subscription then the video can be on the finish of the submit.
I attempted:
Slim Parfait Denims in Mild Blue, Dimension 12 – £95 here* – contemplating holding, let me know what you suppose!
Max Shirt, Very Mild Denim, Dimension 8. £95 here* – contemplating holding as soon as I’ve discovered at the very least 3 ways to put on it, not together with “in any other case bare” or “with lace knickers” as a result of they don’t depend as outfits and I’d like all shirtmakers to know this.
Brut Attractive Denims, Indigo, Dimension 10. £95 here* – non, non, non.
Très Cliché tee, small, £50 here* – oui oui oui! Holding.
Milo T-Shirt, £55 here* – non.
Theodora T-Shirt, £60 here* – non.
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